You have the right to be sad
It wasn’t a happy holiday for us. One of our cats died on Christmas Day. We had our orange tabby Oscar for over 15 years. Around ten in the morning, he wandered into the bathroom, a place he doesn’t normally go into, and rested on his side gasping for air. I tried helping him up, but he fell back down. With a final gurgle, he went still. Our son and granddaughter started sobbing. My wife fell silent. Our distraught daughter rushed to our house.
And I did what I normally do. I got super calm, super focused, and searched for an animal hospital that would take care of our cat. And when the worst was confirmed, my wife and I had to make decisions about what to do with his body and how we wanted his remains returned to us. We chose a lovely cedar box with a brass plaque. When we get his water cremated ashes, we will put the box up in his favorite spot.
It wasn’t until hours later that I could finally mourn. And then it was a quiet retreat. I sat in my office alone, not wanting to talk to anyone and keeping my feelings to myself.
Sadness is hard for me, and it’s hard for many people. Sadness, much like anger, is a difficult feeling to experience ourselves and to see in others. We live in a society where we are supposed to be happy. (Disney had a film about this.) It’s worse for men because we are taught sadness is a sign of weakness. I talked about…
